There's this horizon people seem to be traveling toward. I know I have been. A mystical destination just beyond the horizon where things will be bigger, better, safer, warmer, and more enlightened. Many spend their lives trying to peruse what's in this place and many never seem to make it, living their lives feeling both disappointed and like a disappointment. The place I speak of it the elusive state of "Good Enough." The problem, as I've come to understand it for myself, is the thought that "good enough" is somewhere other than here. The horizon is an imaginary line that recedes as you approach it. If I go after my dreams as if they're somewhere other than here, that's the beginning of my issue.
It's important for me to have goals and for them to require pushing myself in order to get to where I can reach them. But if I'm striving for something outside of myself and there's no clear end game so I know I've arrived, it very well may continue to be that horizon that dissipates more and more as long as I continue to approach it.
As long as I'm here, I know I've got work to do. As a human being I'm inherently flawed and doomed to remain imperfect until the time I leave this world. So I'm aware. I'm aware there is more I can be doing and that I am meant to grow. To grow in my wisdom. My production. Love. Faith. Contribution. There's more and there probably always will be. But who is to say I haven't arrived? Clearly I know I can be more, but still...
Maybe the longer I pursue, "good enough" as if it's something I need to reach, the longer I'll keep myself from getting there? Maybe "good enough" is right here? Could it be, today, right here, right now, I am "good enough"?
As long as I believed I wasn't good enough it perpetuated itself. The thought continued to hold me back and get me down. Over time, I realized I'm here for a purpose (at least that's my belief). So whether I'm sad, angry, depressed, successful, fired, or accomplishing, "good enough" is right here with me. And it's this belief which is going to drive me forward. Again, "good enough" doesn't mean I'm done or I've arrived. It's a function of acceptance. This is where I am right now and where I'm meant to be. Here, right now, if I think I'm not good enough, chances are I might stay here for awhile. But when I remember I am "Good enough," I'm driven to move forward and/or make a change. I'm compelled to use the cards I've been dealt to better myself and others. When I'm there in my element of peace with what it, it's when I can shine, and my light can manifest itself in the world.
So right now, right here, were I am with all of my imperfections and those things I'm not proud of, I am "good enough!" With this recognition I will take the lemons of my circumstances and turn them into the lemonade of my reality. I will no longer try to approach the receding horizon. I am the horizon. And living there, I am beyond "good enough."