Vulnerability: My Greatest Teacher

I've read that inner strength can be measured in the capacity to be there for others even while one is going through his own inner turmoil.  It must be true cause I think I saw it in a meme on the internet.  But while there may be truth to this, I'm thinking it's only true for some.  For others however it's so much easier to lose themselves in other peoples' problems, all the while avoiding their own and struggling in silence.  For these men, real growth and strength is in reaching out for the help they themselves need.

I know I personally grew up with a do-it-yourself mentality being taught I was strong as a bull and meant to know how to take care of business on my own.  Those beliefs kept me very secluded for a long time thinking that asking others for help was weakness.  I used those beliefs as a security blanket to avoid doing things when there was a chance of failure.  In essence, it was in keeping myself strong that I remained weak and closed.  In not letting others in that I maintained the bravado of the strong one.

Then something changed.  Men, who I didn't ask to be there for me, were.   They pushed me into the limelight and it was in my deepest fear of asking for help and what that would mean where I found my greatest teacher.  Vulnerability.  It is my willingness to be broken and flawed...  It is my willingness to be seen as broken and flawed that makes me strong.

I still think I need to be strong in those old ways sometimes.  I still carry fear of going down there, needing and asking for help. But that prison of my mind no longer holds me back the way it once did. It's in knowing, for me, real strength is in showing up fully as myself that I am free.  

Clearly it's not right for me to lean on everyone.  It's not even safe.  There are people who would use my vulnerability against me or take my brokenness to mean something it doesn't.  But there are also safe men.  Good men who will be there for me unconditionally.   Even those who will love me more when they learn I am flawed, just as they are.

I pride myself on my path to being one of these men.  A vulnerable man who can openly make space for others to be broken and flawed along with me.  A safe space for those who also want to be strong in this way.  Thank you to those who have been mine.

Keep on being awesome!

-Eric